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Trying To Look On The Bright Side
Posted on October 30th, 2008 by Miss J
With The Love Of My Life out of the house, it will be a lot easier to keep the bathroom clean. And the kitchen won’t get messy anymore, because I won’t have anybody to cook for. I only make a mess when I cook for other people.
I can clean the house really good, one time, and it will stay clean with nobody else eating or pooping. Or doing anything else. All I do is write a bit, and that’s not messy or stinky.
I won’t have to do anything but dust, once in a while.
I have always known I was destined to die alone; the time I had with Jason only gave me false hope.
I am now resigned to my fate.
So now I have to write. It’s all I have. It’s all I’ve ever had. It’s just too bad it took me this long to figure it out.
I hate the idea of coming off like one of those douche bag know-it-alls, so I won’t try to give advice. I will say, though, that I’ve felt exactly how you feel- when I broke with my fiance I felt dead inside for a long time. I don’t know when it happened, but I started to wake up one day and let a little bit of life in again. As cliche as it sounds, I feel more whole as a person in a way I never did before because of that pain. I wouldn’t trade that in if I could.
Man…I’m really sorry you’re in this place. That’s it- just really sorry.
new to your blog through Benny….I have been in your shoes and now, it’ sucks….it feels desolate. It won’t last long. You will fill your days with your creative thoughts, projects, it will turn into time with friends, new and old and voila! a whole new busy life…
says the former straight mommy now a big ol’ gay mommy with more to do than time to do it!!!
stay positive….put yourself first!!!!
Sorry you feel that way.
Thanks for all the kind comments, people. I will try not to write any more maudlin, self-pitying shit like that again in the future, but it made me feel better at the time. I was tempted to delete this post altogether, but I decided that would be dishonest and ultimately stupid. I’m leaving it up, as a caution to myself.