Oh, goody! I will have at least one person I actually know personally to turn to for sympathy and procrastination about National Novel Writing Month!
Subject: Novel in a month
Now I went and done it!! I signed up for the writing thingie!!OMG What have I done? (laughing)
Chad
I can’t honestly say I wish this joyous creative horror on anyone else, but I’m not going to complain.
The Light of My Existence is threatening to leave me, because he thinks I have no ambition, and all I do is sit around playing on the computer. Right.
I sit around “playing” on the computer, all right. I don’t make much money at the moment, and spend a lot of time sifting through job listings, looking for legitimate local jobs amongst all the spam ads, making phone calls, and sending out resumes. I also spend some time each day working on increasing my typing speed. No ambition.
I freely admit that I read online newspapers and email my friends on a semi-regular basis. I also occasionally watch The Daily Show and/or cartoons on Adult Swim to cheer myself up after I read the news, which is mostly depressing. Sometimes I even write in this blog. However, most of the time I’m doing other things.
I’m frying my brain learning Linux and PHP… stuff that I can learn for FREE, and then take a few tests for under $500 to earn certification qualifying me for a $70k job that I would actually enjoy. But Himself thinks it’s all bullshit, of course, because I have an immediate goal of using my new PHP skills to redesign my personal website. No ambition.
I’m working on an outline for a novel that I have pledged to write in the space of one month. No ambition.
I’ve started transcribing (with much cringing) a drawer full of fading love letters my parents saved, which my mother wanted published after their deaths, because they were a biracial couple in the Deep South in the early Sixties, and she thought it was important to someday have their story told.
No ambition.
Today, I officially started working on the outline of the novel I have pledged to write in November. Because of multiple distractions, I haven’t made much progress, beyond a “mind-mapping” exercise that gave me a headache and sent me fleeing to the corner store for beer.Now fortified with mild, fizzy alcohol, I am just now realizing the true extent of my folly in signing up for this ridiculous event. In fact, I had an argument with myself about it.
Left Brain: You are psychotic, and possibly an idiot. You cannot do this. Do not even try. Your ambition is commendable, but you are highly unstable, and unlikely to fulfill your goal. Therefore, I see no reason to subject us to this potential humiliation.
Right Brain: SCREW YOU! Idiot? Idiot savant, maybe! I’m brillant, and besides, I just WANT to do this. Why are you always trying to spoil my fun? Furthermore, I don’t care what anybody thinks. That’s YOUR job, tight-ass.
LB: You are not being sensible.
RB: That’s why YOU get to do all the planning and organizing. And I’ll get all the credit! Neener neener neener!
LB: You are also childish. If I were not a Vulcan, I would hate you.
This exchange continued for quite some time, contributing to my headache, but you get the idea. As usual, the creative side beat down my few remaining shreds of common sense (with an empty beer bottle, metaphorically speaking), and I am still determined to do this.
Coming next: the Snowflake Method.
I lost my damn mind and signed up for NaNoWriMo this year.
Yes, I know it’s not until November. Yes, I know that most of the participants either don’t finish or write worthless, unpublishable tripe.
I’m looking at National Novel Writing Month as an endurance exercise. It’s like an Iron Man competition for people who want to be writers, only everyone who even finishes at ALL wins a prize, so it’s also kinda like the Special Olympics. (You get a nifty little badge to put on your website, even if your so-called novel is too crappy to be sold as alleged food at McNasty’s Greasy GutBomb and Cheap Ugly Toy Emporium.)
Why am I subjecting myself to this torment? I’m coming up on age forty-two, which number, some of you may recall, is The Answer To The Question Of Life, The Universe, And Everything. If I don’t write a book before my 42nd birthday (which is in late December), I’m done for. I don’t have to sell it before then; it doesn’t necessarily even have to be properly revised. But I have to write it. Before I’m forty-two.
I know it’s not rational, but it’s a compulsion. The same obsessive compulsion that drove me to create this website. I’m a writer. Instead of washing my hands constantly, and worrying about germs, I write. I write short stories. I write lists. I write notes to myself. I write letters. I write, I write, I write. I have panic attacks if I accidentally leave the house without a paper and a pen, and want to write something down. (I have earned a grand total of $18 for my short stories, and once had an impressive collection of “I love your story, but I can’t publish it, please send more” notes from editors, before that bonfire.)
That being as it may, I know I don’t post on here as often as I should, but a lot of what I write isn’t fit for public consumption. And considering some of the nasty things I actually DO say here, that should give you pause.
Anyway, according to the rules, it’s perfectly ok for me to plan, plot, and/or outline my novel before November, but I can’t actually start writing it until then. That’s fine with me; I can’t imagine composing a COHERENT narrative of 50,000 words or more in 30 days without planning ahead, much less producing anything remotely enjoyable to read. All I have right now is an idea for a fantasy novel. I’ll be working on plot, character studies, and (gasp) world building for the next five months. If I don’t, I’ll end up writing a Harlequin Romance, and everyone who knows me will mock me to the end of my days.
Anyway, wish me luck with NaNoWriMo. I’ll keep you posted, so you know when to actually start hassling me.
Never mind that. It’s mid-May. Don’t hassle me yet, help me!
Any useful information (like kindly telling me about helpful books, practical time management tips, or good Linux-compatible open-source free software besides OpenOffice, which I already have) will be greatly appreciated. Snotty remarks will be graciously ignored, or summarily deleted, depending on whether or not they are amusing. Please comment!