Three good reasons to not have children
I don’t have kids. I don’t want kids. BUT I don’t HATE kids. I actually rather like them, because they tend to be very honest, which frequently causes them to say things that are (unintentionally) funny.
Nevertheless, I just don’t want them anywhere near me unless they are impeccably clean and on their best behavior. And as far I’m concerned, good behavior means doing kid stuff in a designated kid area, or sitting completely motionless and silent, unless they are directly spoken to, or are on fire from an adult accidentally flicking a cigarette butt on them. Sorry folks, but that’s how I was raised.
Aside from that, here are my three reasons to not have children:
- Children are horribly expensive. They need food, clothing, shelter, medical care, and education. Hell, I don’t make enough money to obtain all of these things just for myself. I just can’t afford to take proper care of a baby, even if I wanted one. Not without going on welfare, anyway, and I’d rather die.
- Children are the second most annoying thing in the universe. The MOST annoying thing in the universe is dumbass parents who think it’s acceptable to allow their ill-mannered, snot-dripping spawn to run loose and/or scream in movie theaters and restaurants.
- Human babies, unlike puppies, cannot be conveniently given away if you suddenly realise at 2AM that you simply don’t want to take care of this adorable but demanding little beast that is yowling and crying and depriving you of sleep.
I know this sounds very nasty and selfish, but I honestly think it’s best for me to not even try to do the baby thing.